The Dramatic Tale of Harry the Hermit

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<center><h1>The //Dramatic// Tale of Harry the Hermit</h1></center> <<timed 2s transition>> By Harry \ <<next>>\ the Hermit <<next>> [[In which...]] <</timed>>

Harry the poor old Hermit Crab almost gets killed by a ferocious sea creature and/or acquires a massive amount of wealth that almost gets stolen from him. <<timed 5s transition>> Okay... Maybe I should start at the beginning. <</timed>> <<timed 7s transition>> It all started with... <</timed>>\ <<timed 9s transition>>\ <<linkreplace "A hermit">>Well yes, //DUH//, it started with a hermit. Get a little creative will ya?<</linkreplace>> [[A boat]] [[A totally unsuspicious object of strange origin]] [[A bottle of 1947 Whiskey]] <</timed>>

Are you sure you didn't mean [[A totally unsuspicious object of strange origin]]? [[Yes]] [[No ->In which...]]

<<audio crash play>> Ahhhh Yes, the //totally unsuspicious object of strange origin...// Now that is a tale to tell. Harry the Hermit sat in his small hermit-hole house one day watching TV when he heard a loud crash in his bedroom. Shocked, Harry had two choices. <<timed 6s transition>>\ [[Go investigate his bedroom]] <<linkreplace "Sit back down and watch TV">> No, no, no. Go investigate. I will NOT be having a lazy player who just wants to sit and watch TV all day. Do that on your free time...Er... I guess other free time.<</linkreplace>> <</timed>>

Ah //excellent//! I was hoping you'd pick this option. <<timed 1s transition>> So, Harry wakes up in the morning to find a bottle of 1947 Whiskey that he had accidentally forgotten many years ago. <<next>>\ He decided to drink all day, sitting in his small home by himself and enjoying the sweet taste of life. <<next>> He turned on some TV, and watch that for a while too. <<next>>\ <<next>> <<audio crash play>> After a while, he began to feel very happy and energetic, and just as he got up to do a 1997 "Anti-Aging" workout video featuring Denise Austin when he heard a loud crash in his bedroom. <<next>>\ [[Go investigate?]] [[Ignore it and do the workout video!]] <</timed>>

//Well... you're a fun one ain't ya...// <<timed 2s transition>> Fine! It started with a boat. <<next>>\ <</timed>>\ <<timed 1s transition>> <<next>>\ <<next>>\ An old, <<next>>\ Rusted, <<next>>\ Dilapidated, <<next>>\ Trashy, <<next>>\ Definitely-not-an-old-relic-of-unknown-origin, <<next>>\ BOAT. <<next>>\ I- <<next>>\ I mean Harry, had gotten it as a gift from his dad many many years ago. Since Harry was a //hermit// he never used that boat, so it sat unused for a lot of years. <<next>>\ [[Next]] <</timed>>

But today, Harry felt different. He had sat in the same rustic armchair for over 10 years, doing nothing but watching TV and drinking whiskey. It had been a good life, but it had also been a lonely one. Harry heard the creak of the boat outside his house. It bobbed up and down against the lake's current, almost begging Harry for a trip. <<timed 2s transition>>\ A trip... Maybe it was time for something new? Maybe this was Harry's chance to try something different, something other than his usual routine? <<next>> [[Get on the boat!]] [[Nahhh]] <</timed>>

"I guess the "Anti-Aging Baby Boomer's workout" video featuring Denise Austin can wait," Harry muttered as he put down his remote and began to walk towards his bedroom. [[Keep walking ->Go investigate his bedroom]]

In full honesty, Harry didn't care about whatever sound was outside. He was a hermit after all. <<timed 2s transition>>\ <<next>> <<next>>\ <<next>>\ So he just decided to ignore it and play his workout video instead. <<next>>\ Except instead of doing the workout video he just sort of...watched. He was too lazy to actually keep up with Denise Austin. She was too fast. <<next>>\ <<next>> <<next>> Did that mean Harry would continue aging? If he didn't do this video, would that mean that he would just eventually become really old?<<next>>\<<next>>\ Was the key to eternal life really the "Anti-Aging Baby Boomer's workout" video featuring Denise Austin and he simply didn't know? If he got up and did the video now would he really live forever? <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #1://"Existential Crisis"// <<next>> [[Try again? ->A bottle of 1947 Whiskey]] <</timed>>

Harry cautiously approached his bedroom, listening closely for any movement behind the closed doors of the room. Not hearing anything, he pushed the door open. Walking into the room he found a large hole in his roof and a light that almost angelically lit up a small golden relic on his bed. [[What did the relic look like?]] [[What happened next?]] <<linkreplace "Was the light telling him to go back to bed?">>No, it wasn't. It was lighting up the relic.<</linkreplace>>

<<timed 2s transition>> What? <<next>> What did the relic //look// like?<<next>>\ Um... I don't know. You weren't actually supposed to ask me that question... <<next>>\ I guess it uh... looked like... <<next>> <<next>> Ah! Here. It looked like [[This ->https://goo.gl/zsd8ui]] <<next>>\ Okay happy? Can we get back to the story now? [[Okay... ->What happened next?]] <</timed>>

Very nervously, Harry approached the odd relic. It glistened in the light, almost whispering for Harry to //take it.// <<timed 3s transition>> [["Take itttt"]] <</timed>>

Harry decided to listen to the weird whispering voice, and picked up the relic. All of a sudden... <<timed 1s transition>> The floor began to rumble. Out of total and utter fear (anddefinitelynotbecauseofclumsiness) Harry threw the relic out his window, and into the lake below. <<next>> [[Shit]] [[Shit]] [[Shit]] [[Shit ->Hehe get DUPED]] [[Shit]] <</timed>>

Harry quickly rushed over to the window, and watched as the relic slowly sunk into the murky waters below. //'Great,'// Harry thought to himself, not realizing that his troubles had only just begun. Behind him, a great light began to emanate from his new skylight, and a large frog fairy showed up. [[A "frog fairy"???]]

"Hello oh great and fair Harry," The frog fairy said as Harry quickly turned around to face her. "For years I have been searching for my relic, lost because of the evil actions of Froggicus Malum-amphibi. Finally, it has been found by you!" <<timed 2s transition>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>> <<next>> "Uh...yes...about that..." Harry stuttered. <<next>>\ <<next>> "Where is the relic now?" the frog fairy asked, hopping over to him. <<next>> [["It's...in the lake..."]] [["It's in my pocket."]] [["...What relic?"]] <</timed>>

"W-What?!" The frog fairy shrieked, "My //precious// million dollar relic is in the murky lake?!" She dramatically fell to floor, crying big...frog..tears. "I'm really sorry," Harry quickly said, "It just sort of happened." The frog fairy looked up at him angrily. "This is all. your. fault. You must now go and retrieve it from the lake." [["Huh?!"]]

"Huh?" The frog fairy said, "What do you mean 'What relic'? Did a relic not fall from the sky and onto your bed, dear hermit?" <<timed 2s transition>> [["No..."]] [["Yes..."]] <</timed>>

"Excellent!" The frog fairy exclaimed, "Then give it to me!" <<timed 2s transition>> [["I'd rather not..."]] [["Um...okay..."]] <</timed>>

"No? Then what is that hole in the ceiling that is oddly in the exact same shape that the relic is?" <<timed 2s transition>> <<next>>\ <<next>> "That's my skylight," Harry lied. <<next>>\ "Is that right?" The frog fairy stated dryly. <<next>>\ "You lost the relic didn't you." <<next>>\ [["...Yeah..."]] <</timed>>

"So why are you asking what relic I speak of? Have you received many relics in the past?" The frog fairy laughed. Harry couldn't bring himself to laugh along. "So //anyways,// where is that relic?" <<timed 2s transition>>\ [["It's...in the lake..."]] <</timed>>

The frog fairy flew into a rage, flying all over the room and hitting things off the walls. "First you lose my relic, and then you //lie// to me?! No, no, NO! This will //not// do! You will retrieve my relic immediately!" [["Huh?!"]]

"You heard me!" The frog fairy stated, "You dropped my precious relic, so //you// have to get it back." "This isn't my problem!" Harry exclaimed, "I didn't ask for that relic to destroy my roof and cause these 'inciting incidents'!" "You have one day to retrieve my relic. I will return by the end of the day, and if you do not have the relic you will be cursed forever!" The fairy exclaimed as she lifted up off the ground. [[Try to grab her]] [[Let her go and accept the quest]]

Yes! Finally! This was the day. This was the day Harry's life began anew. No longer would he be "Harry the Hermit." No, from this day forth he would be know as <<timed 2s transition>> <<next>>\ <<next>> <center><h1>Harry the Sailor!</h1></center> <<next>>\ <<next>> <<audio crash play>> He quickly ran outside his door and got onto his old trusty boat, pulling away the ropes tying it to the port and pushed off to his new life. When he got about 50 feet away, he heard something crash into his house, and he quickly looked back to see what happened. <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ His bedroom's roof had been destroyed, and for the first time in his life Harry felt as though he had made the right decision. If he had still been in the house, he may have gotten seriously hurt, or even worse <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ ended up doing some kind of "Heroes Journey" bullcrap.<<next>> Now, he could finally begin a new life. <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #2://"The Adventurous Tale"// <<next>> [[Try again? ->In which...]] <</timed>>

<<timed 3s transition>> "Nahhh"?!? Seriously?? "Nahhh"?!?! Are you seriously that sadistic that you just want me to sit in my house all day and not do anything? Like, the other option was //obviously// the happy ending. Do you need me to spell it out for you? <<next>> <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ HAPPY ENDING --> [[Get on the boat!]] <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Really? <<next>>We're really gonna do this? <<next>>\ What do you want? Do you want some massive explosions and a big finale like //The Stanley Parable//? <<next>>\ Look, I'm gonna level with you here. This is a really low budget project.<<next>> And by low budget I mean no budget. <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ And like not in a good way either. It wasn't like I was just so amazing at telling this story that I didn't need money. <<next>> <<next>>\ I need money. You didn't pick the whiskey option, so I don't even have anything to drink right now. I'm just gonna sit here. Forever. Cause you didn't pick the happy ending. <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Well... I guess if I can't have a happy ending, neither will you. I will just keep taking really long pauses so you never know if there's gonna be another set of text after this or if I'm just gonna stop talking and make you wait three minutes for something to happen. <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Still here? wow. Way to go buddy. Keep going. <<next>> <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> I should just give you a prize at this point. This is ridiculous... <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Is this really what you find fun? Just sitting here waiting for me to say something? Are you //that// lonely? <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Sorry, that was a low blow. And this is kind of awkward now so... <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<audio curb play>> <<next>> Ending #3://"Silence"// <</timed>>

Harry had had enough of fairies and relics, so he quickly jumped up and grabbed onto the frog fairy's slippery foot. She yelped out in shock, and quickly looked down. "What do you think you're doing?!" She exclaimed, trying to pull her leg back. Harry wouldn't budge. "You will not just fly away and leave me with some impossibly stressful "quest"! I am a hermit crab, the whole point of my existence is to __stay put__!" Finally, the fairy let out an exhausted sigh and settled back down on the ground. "Look," she began, pulling her leg away from Harry, "It's really not that hard. It's just a small relic of hazy description at the bottom of this very murky lake. Anyone could do it." [[Harry stared at her in disbelief.]]

As Harry watched the frog fairy disappear, he realized he was the most unlucky frog in the world. All Harry wanted to do was to watch TV and drink whiskey, but now instead he had to do a stupid quest. Who even does quests anymore? That's only something Luke Groundwalker had to do, and it's the most overrated way to tell a story. Most likely, Harry would just have to go into the water where he will meet some magical being who will tell him where he needs to go then die and Harry (through his //dramatic// tears) will have to keep going to find the relic and return it like a hero. <<timed 8s transition>> <<linkreplace"Okay, get on with it.">> exCUSE me?! I was in the middle of a really emotional monologue, and you were about to find out how scared I am to do this quest and all that bullcrap. Didn't your mother teach you better than to interrupt?!<</linkreplace>> <<next>> <<next>> [[Anyways I guess Harry went into the lake or whatever]] <</timed>>

Harry approached the murky water of the lake. The water was filled with dark weeds and lily pads, making it impossible to see where the relic may have gone. Now, Harry had to choose where to go. (Can hermit crabs even swim?) [[Left corner of the lake]] [[Right corner of the lake]] [[Middle of the lake]] <<linkreplace "Nowhere in the lake">> Nope. Sadly, I really wanted not to be cursed for my whole life so you'll have to pick something else.<</linkreplace>>

"If it's so easy, then why don't //you// do it?!" "It's not my story," she simply said. "I'm just a side character that is supposed to tell you what you need to do and leave you with some confusing riddle on the location of the thing you're looking for and come back later to tell you that what you've been looking for has been inside of you this whole time." "Okay..." Harry frowned. "Then can you just tell me it's inside of me now?" "But it's not inside of you," The fairy said. "But you just said--" "No, no, no, ignore what I said! That's for //later// in the story." Finally realized he was doomed either way, Harry mopped himself up and walked out his front door. As he was leaving, he heard the fairy call out //"The prize which you seek is at the bottom of a dangerous heap!"// [[He kept walking towards the lake ->Anyways I guess Harry went into the lake or whatever]]

Harry tried walking around the outskirts of the left corner of the lake. He realized he really hated water as it would touch his claws in a way that made him uncomfortable. //'Just think about the fact that you can ask for infinite whiskey Harry,'// Harry thought to himself as he walked, trying to find some evidence of a relic. After half an hour, he realized that the relic was probably not here, and decided to look elsewhere. [[Go to the right corner of the lake ->Right corner of the lake]] [[Go to the middle of the lake ->Middle of the lake]]

Harry walked over to the right corner of the lake, trying his best to not touch the water. He didn't really know if he could swim or not, and didn't want to take a risk. Searching around the slimy seaweed Harry found another hermit crab. "What." The hermit crab said, frowning as Harry uncovered it from its slimy hiding place. "Oh uh... sorry. I was looking for a relic." "What'd look like?" The hermit crab asked. "Good question. It sort of looked like <<linkreplace "this.">>this. //Yes haha I open a google image and show another picture of an irrelevant relic. Let's just skip that shall we?//<</linkreplace>> "Hm," the hermit crab grunted, "Tough luck." [["You're not going to even try to help me?"]] [[Just ignore him and go to the left corner of the lake ->Left corner of the lake]] [[Just ignore him and go to the middle of the lake ->Middle of the lake]] [[Imply his mother is a llama]]

The answer to "Can hermit crabs swim?" turns out to be a hard no. Although, they can cruise the bottom of the lake which is even better for Harry who is looking for something //located at the bottom of the lake.// If this wasn't your first choice then I gotta tell you you're not too good at this game. <<timed 3s transition>> After a long and extraneous search, something finally caught Harry's eye. It was the same golden glint that he had seen earlier! He quickly power-clawed his way to it, only to suddenly be stopped. "Halt!" Exclaimed a mermaid. [[A mermaid?!]] <</timed>>

Harry reaches into his pockets. <<timed 2s transition>>\ He realizes he doesn't wear pants. The fairy realizes this too. [[Uh-oh. ->"...Yeah..."]] <</timed>>

The frog fairy frowned. "What? Why? Please just give me the relic. I've looked for it for many years. I will give you a great prize in exchange!" [["''I actually don't have it...''" ->"...Yeah..."]] [["What is the prize?"]]

"Three wishes!" The fairy says. "Any three wishes (//besides// infinite wishes) will be granted! Now please, hand it over!" [["Why do you need this relic so badly?"]] [[Reach into pockets ->"Um...okay..."]]

"What is this? Twenty questions? That relic was taken by the evil Froggicus Malum-amphibi many years ago! He cursed me and made my powers weak so that I was cast away from my other frog fairy friends!" The frog fairy was almost in tears. This made Harry the Hermit uncomfortable. "Now will there be anymore questions or could you please give me my precious relic?" [[Reach into pockets ->"Um...okay..."]] [[Tell her its in the lake ->"It's...in the lake..."]] [[Ask her more questions]]

Harry continues to ask her more questions, and little by little the fairy's face begins to turn a bright red. "ENOUGH!" She finally yells out, and begins to cry. "You are obviously not the one who saw my relic, because you are the sleeziest hermit crab I have //ever// met! Curse you, and all of your descendants after you! May they all be really lame creatures that are kept as pets by people who literally only want one so there is something alive in the room with them because hermit crabs will serve no other purpose!" <<timed 3s transition>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ And with that, she disappeared. <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #4://"Hermit Crabs Are Boring"// <<next>> [[Try again? ->In which...]] <</timed>>

Did you ever wonder if what you pressed in those same-option-selection-parts actually made any difference in the gameplay or if it would bring you to a different place? Well, I'm here to tell you that it does. Great job, you have found the secret. <<timed 3s transition>> I guess I should give you some sort of prize? Sorry I'm new to this. How about a cute cat picture? And not one of those lame ones that you see like a million times. Here: [[http://i.imgur.com/mFfZDkF.jpg]] Enjoy. <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #5://"The Fluffiest Adventure of All"// <<next>> [[Back to the game... ->"Take itttt"]] <</timed>>

The <<linkreplace "mermaid">>mermaid, or should I say SWOLEmaid,<</linkreplace>> was buff, with a well carved chest and long fabio hair that moved gently through the water-breeze. Harry thought he looked very beautiful. [["Who are you?"]] [["You look very beautiful."]] [["''Look, just give me the relic already.''" ->"My name is none of your business! Just give me the relic already."]]

The hermit crab just frowned, "Well aren't you a cultured one?" and slowly turned around, exposing its butt-shell to Harry. He didn't appreciate that. He also realized the hermit crab probably didn't have a PC. [[Go to the left corner of the lake ->Left corner of the lake]] [[Go to the middle of the lake ->Middle of the lake]]

"Why should I?" The hermit crab grumbled. "I don't know... because we are from the same family?" Harry tried. "Um. No. I wouldn't know you from my own mother. Now excuse me," the hermit crab rudely stated, walking back into a seaweed patch. <<timed 8s transition>>\ Harry hated hermit crabs. [[Go to the left corner of the lake ->Left corner of the lake]] [[Go to the middle of the lake ->Middle of the lake]] <</timed>>

"My name is Piscis and I am the guardian of the lake and all who inhibit it. State your name and your purpose!" [["My name is Harry...the Hermit. You have a relic I really need."]] [["My name is none of your business! Just give me the relic already."]]

The mermaid was immediately caught off guard, and his face turned a deep shade of red. "W-What?" The mermaid stuttered. [["I said you look very beautiful"]] [["Uhhhh nevermind." ->"Who are you?"]]

To Harry's total surprise, the mermaid sheds a single tear. He quickly wipes it, and restrains a sniffle. "For all my years of guarding this lake, no one has ever seen me as anything but an all-powerful being. I am flattered, hermit crab. What is your name?" "It's Harry," Harry replies, slowly walking over to the mermaid. "Harry...that is a beautiful name," the mermaid says. "What's your name?" Harry asks. "It's Piscis." The two stand in silence for a while. <<timed 9s transition>> "So...You've probably come for the relic haven't you?" Piscis asks. "Ah, yes. I did." <</timed>>\ <<timed 12s transition>>\ "Would it be too much to ask, before you go, to have a cup of tea with me?" Piscis asked. "I'd love to," Harry finally replied. A smile on his face. <</timed>> <<timed 17s transition>> Ending #6://"Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight"// <</timed>>\ <<timed 20s transition>>\ [[Try again? ->A mermaid?!]] <</timed>>

"A relic?" Piscis said, rubbing his chiseled jaw. "For what purpose do you need this relic, Hermit?" <<timed 2s transition>>\ "It's Harry," Harry said, "And I need it because some <<linkreplace "frog fairy">>frog fairy (//what the hell is a frog fairy? Is that like a frog with wings? Or is it like a humanoid fairy with like... a frog face? Okay, thinking too hard. Nevermind.//)<</linkreplace>> told me to get it." "Frog fairy you say? Yes, I believe I know the fairy you speak of. Okay Hermit, I shall give you this relic...<<next>> //If// you solve my riddle." "Again, it's Harry, and... [["A riddle?"]] [["Oh god please no riddle."]] [["Can I just have the relic without all the uh...extra stuff?"]] <</timed>>

"What?! How dare you speak to me like that? I am the almighty Picsis, and you will bow to me!" [["No."]] [["Okay..."]]

"Yes!! A riddle! It is the //only// way you can get your your precious relic back!" <<linkreplace "But what if I just go back in the story and pick a different option instead?">>==But what if I just go back in the story and pick a different option instead?== No. Stop it. You picked this so now you have to deal with it.<</linkreplace>> <<timed 2s transition>> "So, here is your riddle Hermit! What hired killer never goes to jail?" [["A good one?"]] [["An exterminator?"]] [["Can I can a different one?"]] <</timed>>

"What?" Piscis bellowed, "What do you mean?! Everyone //loves// riddles!" "They-They really don't," Harry said. "Well then... what would you suggest instead?" Piscis asked. [["How about a trade?"]]

<<timed 2s transition>> Seriously? <<next>>\ After all that work you just want to skip and end it? Geez okay. I see how it is. <<next>> Piscis says sure or whatever and Harry gets the relic the end. There, happy? <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #7://"The Offended Narrator"// <<next>> [[Try again? ->"My name is Harry...the Hermit. You have a relic I really need."]] <</timed>>

"Hmmm..." Piscis thought, "That isn't a bad idea. What do you have in mind to trade <<linkreplace "Hermit?">>==Hermit?"== (A/N: Harry no longer likes this joke and has informed me to stop)<</linkreplace>> [["How about my workout video?"]] [["How about my soul?"]]

"Your...what??" Piscis asked, clearly confused. "Yeah, my "Anti-Aging Baby Boomer's workout" video featuring Denise Austin. I have a copy in my house. It's vintage." <<timed 3s transition>>\ "You realize I don't have legs right? Or a VCR." "It's still vintage. You could sell it online." "Why haven't you?" //Harry was unwilling to tell the great Swolemaid Piscis that he didn't sell it because he genuinely enjoyed watching it.// "I'm lazy. It's in my nature." "Alright... I guess I'll take it," Piscis said. [[Give precious workout video to Piscis ->"Okay"]] <</timed>>

"Woah, woah what? There is no need for that," Piscis said, alarmed by Harry's statement. "That's pretty extreme. I'm not the devil." "Oh..." Harry said, feeling stupid, "I just thought that was like... the standard exchange." "No dude. Just give me like... some jewelry or something." "I don't have jewelry but... I have this bottlecap?" Harry said, searching inside his shell. "Really? That's all you have?" "I'm a hermit crab. What did you except me to have in here?" Harry frowned. "Okay, okay, fine. I guess I'll just... take the bottle cap," Piscis said, his voice coated in disappointment. [[Give bottlecap to Piscis ->"Okay"]]

"Haha, good try. But no." Piscis said. "Oh..." <<timed 3s transition>>\ "So... Do I die now or do I get to try again?" Harry finally asked. "Um... I actually don't know. I've never done this before." <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #8://"First Time for Everything"// <<next>> [[Try again? ->"A riddle?"]] <</timed>>

"Ahh shoot. You're right. It is an exterminator. I guess you can have the relic." Piscis said. "Awesome! I'll catch you later!" Harry said, before freezing in his spot. "What?" "I meant //see//! I'll see you later!" Harry quickly said. [[Just take the relic and go. ->"Okay"]]

"A different riddle? Can you even do that?" Piscis asked. "I don't see why not. I already didn't have a choice in this quest," Harry said. "I guess that's true... Okay. Well um... I don't really have another riddle so I guess I'll make one up," Piscis said. "Well...um... What is round, yellow, and uh... is always waving?" [["''A flag?''" ->Bad riddle]] [["''That one yellow M&M?''" ->Bad riddle]]

"No, it's the sun!" Piscis called out triumphantly. "The sun? How does the sun //wave//?" Harry asked, frustrated. "What? What do you mean? It's waving right now!" Piscis said, pointing up. Harry looked up to see a yellow blob beyond the water. "No, that's just the water that is making it look that way," Harry fumed. "What?! Seriously?!" "Yes Piscis. Have you ever even seen the sun?" <<timed 5s transition>>\ "Just take the relic and go." [["Okay"]] <</timed>>

After //finally// acquiring the relic, Harry was ready to return home. It had been the longest of expeditions, and Harry was //tired//. <<timed 3s transition>>\ When he finally walked back into his home, the frog fairy was there waiting for him. "My relic!" She exclaimed, flying over to him and grabbing it from his hand. <<next>>\ <<next>>\ "Okay, I got your relic back. Now can I have my three wishes?" The fairy paused, before slowly beginning to lift into the air. "Three wishes? I didn't promise you three wishes." "What?! Yes you did!" Harry yelled out. "No, I didn't. I don't recall such a thing." "In one of the routes of this story I asked you what I would get for the relic and you said, and I quote " //"Three wishes!" The fairy says. "Any three wishes (besides infinite wishes) will be granted! Now please, hand it over!"// " The frog fairy stuttered, "W-What?! You remember that route?!" "Yes! I remember all the routes! I remember drinking a lot of whiskey, being cursed for my whole life because I'm a hermit, riding off in a boat, snapping at Piscis, //as well as// getting my three wishes from you!" <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>> And so, by magic of breaking the forth wall, the frog fairy finally agreed to grant Harry three wishes. [[Now Harry had to pick which wishes he wanted.]] <</timed>>

//Was this the day?// <<timed 2s transition>>\ //Was this the day Harry the Hermit was finally going to stand up for himself?// <<next>>\ "No. I will not //bow// to you! I've had enough of this. I have been mistreated by everything I have met today. They say the world is full of great and wonderful things, but I am glad I am a hermit!" <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>> "T-That's right! I said it! At least as a hermit I don't get bossed around and mistreated by anyone but myself!" <<next>>\ Piscis floated in place, frozen. Something in his eye told Harry that he understood. "I am sorry Harry," Picsis finally said. "It seems as though this experience has truly been difficult for you. And I suppose in the end, we must all figure out the balance between social interaction and our own well-being. But can you really say from the bottom of your heart that everything about this day has been terrible?" Harry thought for a moment. [["I guess not..."]] [["Yes."]] <</timed>>

Harry slowly bowed to Piscis, feeling slightly humiliated. "Good. That's what I //thought//. Now, what is your name, and why are you here?" [["''I'm Harry. I'm here for a relic''" ->"My name is Harry...the Hermit. You have a relic I really need."]]

Harry realized that this was probably the first time in his life he had ever left his home. He had never seen the lake he had lived by his whole life. He met people that he didn't like very much but that were still interesting and different in their own way. <<timed 3s transition>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ And for the first time in his life Harry had //choices// he could make <<next>>\ instead of just sitting around all day in his home. <<next>>\ "Here," Piscis said, "Just take the relic. You've earned it Harry." "...Thanks," Harry finally said, as he took the relic into his hand. //'What if...'// Harry thought to himself, //'What if I just took this relic, sold it, and used the money to go and do something with my life?'// [[Sell relic and go]] [[No, you need to return the relic ->"Okay"]] <</timed>>

<<timed 2s transition>>\ And so, Harry took the relic Piscis gave him and pawned it off for some money. <<next>>\ He finally decided that what he needed most in the world was not three wishes or some grand heroic accomplishment, but rather to have the ability to feel alive just as he had today. <<next>>\ So, Harry the Hermit took his old boat and left his home forever to find adventure elsewhere. <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> <<next>>\ Ending #9://"Carpe Diem."// <<next>> [[Try again? ->"Who are you?"]] <</timed>>

"I want..." [["A bottle of 1947 Whiskey, a new TV, and a new bed."]] [["A car, a large fishbowl, and Piscis."]] [["Nothing."]]

And so, with her magical gooey powers of froggery, suddenly Harry was holding a bottle of old whiskey, had a plasma TV and a bed that wasn't ruined. "Is that all?" the frog fairy asked. "I mean it's not like you'll grant me more wishes so...yeah. That's all." And with that, the fairy vanished, looking very disappointed at Harry. <<timed 3s transition>> <<next>>\ Now, Harry could finally sit and watch TV in peace, no longer bothered by anyone but himself. He settled down in his cozy chair, opened up his nice bottle of old whiskey, and just as he was about to take a sip <<next>>\ <<audio crash play>> <<next>>\ he heard another crash in his bedroom. <<next>> <<next>> <<audio curb play>> <<next>> Ending #10://"It just never ends, does it?"// <<next>> [[Try again? ->In which...]] <</timed>>

And so, with her magical gooey powers of froggery, suddenly a 1967 Ferrari Spider showed up in front of Harry's house, and in the back seat sat a confused Piscis in a small fishbowl. When Harry approached the car, Piscis looked at him like he was a fish out of water. "What am I doing here?" he asked. "You wanna go to Vegas with me? I guess I should have asked //before// you were put in this fishbowl but the offer still stands." <<timed 3s transition>>\ "But I've never been out of this area before," Piscis quickly said. "Neither have I," Harry shrugged. <<next>>\ <<next>>\ "Well, I guess okay then," Piscis finally said. <<audio vivalasvegas play>> <<next>> <<next>> And so Harry and Piscis were off to Vegas, where they were sure to gamble away any money they had, and also have the time of their lives. <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #12://"Viva Las Vegas"// <<next>> [[Try again? ->In which...]] <</timed>>

The frog fairy stared at Harry. "What? After all that work you just want //nothing//?" Harry thought for a moment. "Well, yeah. If anything, I just want to be left alone. This has been more than one hermit crab could ever handle, I think." "A-Are you really sure that you don't want anything...?" The fairy asked. [["Well...maybe..." ->Now Harry had to pick which wishes he wanted.]] [["I mean... I guess to leave me alone."]] [["Nope. You can just give my wishes to Piscis or something."]]

The fairy stared at him angrily. "Seriously?! //That's// it?? After all of that work, you just go back to being the way you were before?" <<timed 3s transition>>\ "I mean...yeah. The plot wasn't sophisticated enough for me to actually really develop in any way. I just got a relic out of water. That's it." "Wow. I guess the writer really fucked up then. You were supposed to have like this whole fight with Piscis and I was gonna come help you and stuff," The fairy said. "Yeah, none of that happened. I basically survive no matter what. It's kind of boring." <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ "..." <<next>>\ "..." <<next>> <<audio curb play>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #14://"In Which the Writer Quits."// <<next>> [[Try again? ->In which...]] <</timed>>

And so, with her magical gooey powers of froggery, the frog fairy snapped her fingers and disappeared. <<timed 3s transition>>\ Harry sat down on his couch to watch TV again, letting out a deep breath. Just as he was beginning to relax, his surroundings suddenly began to change. His TV turned into seaweed, his chair turned into sand, and his walls turned into...well, seaweed. <<next>>\ <<next>>\ He quickly looked around, confused at what had just happened. "Hey," Piscis said. "W-What am I doing here?! I was just watching TV!" Harry said, scrambling to get up on his <<linkreplace "feet">>==feet==<</linkreplace>> <<linkreplace"...claws">>==claws== whatever the hell he has. <</linkreplace>> "Well, I dunno. You seemed lonely, and I'm the only mermaid in this whole lake so I thought we could go hang out." "What were your other two wishes?" Harry inquired. "A bottle of whiskey and an underwater tunnel to get out of here." "A bottle of whiskey?! Now we're talking. Alright, where to?" <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ <<next>>\ "Anywhere you'd like." <<next>> <<next>> <<next>> Ending #15://"To Infinity and Beyond."// <<next>> [[Try again? ->In which...]] <</timed>>

<<timed 2s transition>>\ "Oh..." The merman stated. <<timed 4s transition>>\ "Yeah. This day has been pretty terrible." <<timed 6s transition>>\ "Well erm... I guess here's the relic then..." Piscis said awkwardly, handing it over. [[And so Harry awkwardly left to return the relic. ->"Okay"]] <</timed>>

<<cacheaudio "curb" "C:\Users\Julia\Desktop\music/Curb.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "vivalasvegas" "C:\Users\Julia\Desktop\music/Vivalasvegas.mp3">> <<cacheaudio "crash" "C:\Users\Julia\Desktop\music/Crash.mp3">>

Ending #1:"Existential Crisis" Ending #2:"The Adventurous Tale" Ending #3:"Silence" Ending #4:"Hermit Crabs Are Boring Ending #5:"The Fluffiest Adventure of All" Ending #6:"Still A Better Love Story Than Twilight" Ending #7:"The Offended Narrator" Ending #8:"First Time for Everything" Ending #9:"Carpe Diem" Ending #10:"Viva Las Vegas" Ending #11:"It just never ends, does it?" Ending #12: "In Which the Writer Quits" Ending #13: "To Infinity and Beyond"